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I'm not saying I deserve a medal or an award but...

It's well documented that I was completely freaked out by kid before MF was born... And a whole gaggle of kids made me completely nutso and uncomfortable.

And really while I've changed a bit I still feel pretty much the same. Unkown kids freak me out. A gaggle of them is one of the most uncomfortable situations I can possibly be in... And for the record I probably don't like 97% of kids and still think 99% of babies are ugly (I just add that because it's true and I feared I would changed after we had a kid).

But the other day I picked the kid up from school and two of his classmates were there... And as I was looking at the fish tank Staci suggested I read a book to him... In hindsight I think she knew what would happen.

I grabbed a book and sat down to read to him... And then I was encircled by the two other kids in his class... Like drippy nosed hyenas with big puppy dog eyes and smiles they sat waiting for me to read a book.

And so I put my fear aside and rocked it...

Between them pretending to eat everything on the page (something MF no longer does because he says that pictures aren't real) and then showing me they each have a belly button and that they can each flip over and showing me that they each like a different fish than the others do and then bringing book after book to me to read I somehow survived... And it made me stronger.

I'm not saying I'm ready to open a kid's book store and have story time but one small step (although I still have gross flashbacks of three runny noses staring at me).

And I'm not saying that I deserve an award because this is something other folks do naturally... But I believe in my heart that future generations will look at this moment and see that they should create an award for this kind of situation and then name it after me.

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 16, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    I couldn't agree with you more on this subject and I'm a mom. I though I was supposed to have the mom thing in my that made me like kids. Nope. I love my kid more than anything and can be very motherly to him but not anyone else. Groups of kids and peoples kids I don't know freak me out. My son is 11 and it still freaks me out. Now they are big and can talk back. Yikes. This year I pushed myself to be a room mom and it definitely was worth it. There were still moments that I felt myself starting to freak out but each time it got a little easier. I'd give you an award. I know the feeling, and you deserve it. Thank you for writing such honest posts. It's refreshing from all the lollipops and gumdrops happy crap that floods the blogosphere most of the time.

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