smonk you: the best freaking daddy blog ever

This is another post in my Vick's VapoRob VapoDad series. I should do a little update for you. On the first post  I announced that I was in a fantasy football league and although I know nothing about football I was kicking but... Then I announced that Drew Brees was the Vick's VapoDad. Ironically that week my team played a team with Drew on it... I lost miserably and then my team spiraled down to a total fail... Sick days... I've found that the idea of them has changed drastically since I was a kid. Back in the day, unless you were deathly ill, they were great... Especially if they were only a day or two long. If you were out for more your parents might make you do school work to catch up and that's just ridiculous. But one day out for me meant The Price is Right and hoping that I'd get to see that guy drop in the Cliffhangers game It also meant my mom would make orange Jello with sprite and pineapple inside... It was awesome then but now I think of w...

Preamble: I've Back in June I wrote a post called First Generation Dad  that touched on how I feel to be a dad when I didn't really have a good father figure of my own. And I got an idea but didn't have time to flesh it out... Six months later and I finally had the time. I'm starting what I hope to be a new feature and calling it First Gen Dads. The idea is I'll invite other dads who, for whatever reason, didn't have a father around when they grew up. Stealing some words from my first guest (coming up next month) it's an important topic. I think it's one that's not thought about much. One thing that really got me thinking about this came a few months after my aforementioned post. It was a letter that a radio morning show guy wrote to his soon to be son. First I should mention I only listen to that morning show not that station. Second what got me about the letter is when he talks about all the things his dad taught him... My father taught...

If you missed part one of my two part series on our trip to Mexico you really missed nothing. Something I forgot to mention that happened day two was that I bought my first can of Axe body spray. I forgot deodorant and everything I found had anti-perspirant in it and I don't know all the facts but I know that if you use you get a phone call right after then you die seven days later... The only non-anti-perspirant stuff was a lonely can of Axe. So I tried it... And I can tell you the commercials lie. Not one angel fell from the sky. Also I should mention that there was a ton of pool time the first few days but and in one of those days a dog bit an orange ball that was at the pool... We heard about it from MF the rest of the week. Day Four: You can get falafel in Isla Mujeres... At Mañana (a cool little cafe that has a mini used bookstore in it). Said falafel rocks... And the hot sauce is awesome. As a general rule the hot sauces in Isla were awesome and so diff...

I think in my head I wrote a post that will be better than this one but I forgot it... Also I really know how to get people to read further. But I've learned that if I don't write stuff down immediately it's lost.. But I've also learned that when I don't write stuff down, but have an idea, my words come out best the second time. Which is really the first time... So join me on the journey to discover if this post will suck... And join me on a journey to Mexico too. They day after our Jewy Christmas we hopped on a plane to Isla Mujeres. Actually we hopped in a car to the airport, on a plane to Cancun and in a boat to Isla Mujeres. No trains were involved but a boat was so that's a solid trip. We were joined by some of our good friends and their son on the trip. It was a milestone of a trip... The last one that we could take MF on without paying for a ticket. I could bore you with all the details of the trip... But I'm not sure why anyone would care ...

Officer: Do you know how fast you were going? Me (with a cute little shrug): 35 Officer: You were going 44 Me: Hmm Officer: Do you know the speed limit? Me: 30 Officer: License and registration please Me: Here's my license. My registration is in this pile (showing the contents of my glove box). Officer: I'll start things and come back for that Me: Do you mind if I text my wife and tell her that I'll be late in bringing lunch to my sick little boy who's right down this street? Officer: Go ahead Moral of the story: I should have shown him my boobs. This should be a VapoRub VapoDad post because I was in fact showing of my best dad skills but I don't want to connect them to my minor crimes... And they sent me a nice gift basket of Vick's products which have basically been keeping me alive the last week so I want to stay on their good side. The deal was the kid was sick again and he was going to go to the doctor because his cough was super not good. ...

The kid got me sick again so I was going to do a little photo of blocks saying "I am Sick" but I was too tired to do that... Like I a bit ago new posts should be coming up next week... But I thought I'd remind you of a couple about being sick... They're from my Vick's VapoRub sponsored posts series. The first , which is actually the latest, was updated because I forgot to add the best part of being sick that time which was me thinking I had carbon monoxide poisoning. The second is about MF mistaking the inner ear for noodles and me laughing at him while he's crying out of frustration... Really father of the year stuff. And I might as well link to the third which is about MF raging like a teenage girl. Seriously I'm father of the year.

We're still on a break and I don't want you to think this is a backslide situation... I'm still semi out of order for another week... But people piss me off and sometimes it's better to get timely stuff out in a timely matter... If you read the news, and I don't mean Yahoo News which I do read but lately only seems to cover star's hairdos and funny basketball shots, then you may have heard of Lego's new product called LEGO Friends  and people are pissed  and pissed and pissed  and most likely freaking bored... This is sexist... Funny, but sexist... It's also not a Lego Friends set. And this is where I start hating people (in general not specific folks). The folks coming against Lego friends are missing a few huge points. While geared towards girls anybody can play with them... I learned this when I purchased a set and wasn't asked sign a waiver saying it was for a girl. People can still buy regular sets for girls. I actually can...

I'm still on my hiatus but as promised I'm linking to some of my fave post from this year. I know you appreciate this because an informal study affirmed that 99% of you use my blog as your homepage and spend over an hour a day reading with your morning coffee. Two of my favorire posts are actually guest posts I did on other blogs. The first was on The Haps which used to be called Harper's Happening's. It's basically a chronicle of the many narwhal tattoos that Mandy gets (she has 32 right now). I crashed her Mama Style thingy she does... enjoy . The second was on Chelsey's Paper Mama blog. It's a notable blog because she's actually made of paper. It's a weird disorder that affects up about 300 people globally. It's actually quite sad because she must stay away from fire and if oil gets on her somehow the area it hits becomes translucent forever. Anyway I did a Q&A where I discuss things like how I don't read blogs and reveal...

I just got back from vacation and need a little bit of time before I jump into the blog. Maybe a week. Maybe two. I have posts in the work and a new feature that I want to start up. In the meantime a few times a week I'll put up some links to some of my favorite posts I did in 2011... That will be nice because it will give me a chance to actual read some of my posts which I don't really do... New stuff will be up by the 15th or earlier... Until them enjoy: A letter to my state rep asking why she hates gay people (look for a sequel soon as I got a reply last week) And my start of the badges I created for parents... More of those to come too.