smonk you: the best freaking daddy blog ever

Wisdom for Miloh: Not all frauds are bad. I "met" Chip Kidd about seven years back at a book signing. You can read a bit about it here . The image below is from one of the books he signed. I realize he was just goofing around, or maybe not, but I think there's a nugget of awesomeness. Although I know it would put Chip Kidd in a state of depression for years to hear that he's not my favorite fraud I have to say that P.T. Barnum holds that place in my hear. Phineas Taylor is actually a hero of mine. He was an incredible salesmen... Maybe the best. The dude made a fake Cardiff Giant and then when the "real" Cardiff Giant was found out to be a fake he billed his as the Fake Fake Cardiff Giant... People kept coming to see his fake. He also came up with the "This way to the Egress" signs ... Freaking brilliant if you ask me... But if you ask others he's a fraud. That's just the tip of the iceberg of Barnum but I'm not under the ...

If you've read my blog for over a year you'd now about my Ides of March ritual . If you haven't been reading that long I really need to ask what took so long? I mean seriously. Did you know that more people wake up to my blog each day than wake up to the Today Show, Good Morning America and The Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That combined? The short story is I don't work on the Ides of March and I've decided that I'll spend the day with Miloh each year until he goes to college and then celebrates it on his own but only because he's celebrating not having to hang with me. This year we went to the Aquarium at the Mall of America. In case you can't do the math, don't know the days of the week or just don't really care that much I'll remind you that the 15th was a Tuesday this year. And apparently that means Toddler Tuesday at MOA. They call it Toddler Tuesday because there are events and such for the kids... I however prefer to call it...

This video is a reprise to the first one video of Miloh dancing. He goes up to our radio and turns the volume up and down like and good DJ would. He's no Mixmaster Mike but he's only one. This video is great because as you can see he's totally Djing. He's working two things at once. What he doesn't know is that the thing on the left is our router so it doesn't affect the music... Still who cares. Also I should add that if you make it to the end I know that the band playing is The Clash. I mention The Sex Pistols because he pulled out his Johnny Rotten sneer and I was actually rather embarrassed that he would get the two bands mistaken on video.. It makes it look like I don't educate him well... The best part about this being a part deux is I realized I never uploaded the first version to the blog. So here that is... It's from November. And last I should add that yes, I did an amazing job in the top video of using environmental elements as a f...

In the early winter of 1928 Harry Burnett Reese was cleaning the gutters on his home. He took a break to enjoy a candy bar that his buddy Milton Hershey created. While sitting on the roof with feet on the ladder his wife came out and said, in a naggy voice, "You wouldn't be so cold if had done this earlier in the year." Harry tried to ignore her and go back to the gutters when he slipped from the roof and landed on the ground. His candy bar fell from his hand and landed in the open jar of peanut butter his wife was holding. He pulled the chocolate out and tried it... it was the best thing he had. He said he'd make a candy of the peanut butter and chocolate combo. His wife scoffed and said that putting chocolate into peanut butter was the craziest things she'd ever heard of and that no one would buy it. Well, the peanut butter cups that Reese made became a hit and Harry was worth some good cash. He left his wife who didn't believe in his new invention. ...

Just over three months late... Not so bad. October 22 - November 21

Wisdom for Miloh: Don't just learn from your mistakes... Relish some of them. Maybe the photo above technically isn't a mistake... It could be called a moment of time... BUt some might have seen it as a mistake and deleted it. I was photographing you and, like always, you grabbed the lens cap. Then you ran as fast as you could over to the camera and tried to put the cap on the lens... That was the moment I caught. I couldn't have gotten the shot if I planned it... And if I tried to recreate it it could take hours to get the lighting, lens cap placement and your face all in the right spot. I'll take what I got... an awesome shot of real life. The thing about mistakes is they aren't always bad. I've sold in concepts to clients that started as a mistake. When something cool happens by accident I right it down, photograph it or what not and try to find a use for it. When folks just toss mistakes aside they miss out on opportunities. Without mistakes w...

First off if you've been reading since the very start of this, the most read mommy blog written by a man, you will know that I hate the word potty . Not sure why... But I kind of think it's really a super-feminine word. Not that I need to look like a tough guy, but there has never been a time where a guy looked masculine while saying "potty."  Anyway that all being said I will use it in this post... Miloh is completely potty trained and it took little to no effort. I'm not bragging or anything but it's true. He's seen me do my thing a few times and he figured it all out by himself. Last week, when he was half naked about to get in the tub, he walked over to the toilet. He rested his right hand on the toilet (he was on the left side) and did a little lean. The he looked down and peed all over the floor. Some might not consider this being potty trained... but I've been in the Wrigley Field bathroom many times. I've gone to bathrooms in shit...

As you know every Wednesday, without fail, I post a little bit of wisdom for Miloh. This next installment was something I overheard while enjoying some Punch Pizza . Mine of course was cheeseless because, as I have scientifically established, cheese is horrible. Wisdom for Miloh:  Sleepovers are overrated A woman said this to her kid as she was leaving Punch the other day. The wisdom can actually span your lifetime and is so sage that she must have been some sort of prophet. Here's the breakdown on why they are overrated. As a kid: Here's how your first sleepover at a friend's house will go. We'll drop you off at your buddy's house and your mom will kiss you in front of him which will embarrass you. You'll play with your buddy while your his parents make dinner. By "make dinner" I mean order pizza. After the pizza you will play a little more... and then you will be sick of hanging out with him. It will be 8 PM. You'll feel a little bet...