smonk you: the best freaking daddy blog ever

just hanging spelled out his name spelled out FPO but he's covering the F he spelled xylophone spelled his name again and now he's reading a novel

I recently got a couple new tattoos...I'll post about them later...but somehow while searching for tattoo stuff I happened upon Fuck Yeah Tattoos  and I found this one. From Fuck Yeah Tattoos...not mine. The words comes from a Mark Twain quote: Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. It's so true...so do everything you want to do...take risks....have fun....and don't take life too seriously. Have fun.

September 17-23

Sure it sounds to good to be true, but it is in fact true...and I'll get to that soon. This post was originally going to be an open letter but I decided to push that back a week to offer one lucky person fame beyond their wildest dreams. You see I saw this thing called Twitchange ...it's basically a tweet auction to help the folks in Haiti. You can bid on a retweet or a mention from a bunch of celebs, like Zach Levy, Jessica Alba, Demi Moore and more (hah). What's cool about it is the money is going to a good cause. And I guess if you want some exposure to a bunch of folks on twitter it's a good way to get that. So I wondered how I could get in on this action. Then I recall something I said to Jamie, The Baby Guy , whom I met last week. I said that I was going to make my first million from my fake retweets.  What's a fake retweet you ask? I'd say go to Urban Dictionary to find out but they rejected it. Seriously, they rejected it...have you seen that thing?...

There is a bit of a theme going on with some of these...a bit of rebellion. I don't mean it to be like that...I just want Miloh to grow up, be his own person. Wisdom for Miloh: dress the job you want I was told that a few times and on the surface it seems like a really obvious statement. I mean you should always think of your next career move, or next 2, and preparing for that early is a good idea. So yeah...dressing the job you want makes sense. BUT...there's actually a lot more to that comment then there seems. First time I was told to do that I ignored it. I think people should be judged on what they do not how they look. Obviously there are exceptions for people who come to work dressed like shit, but in my case I was wearing dress shirts, ties and a sport coat to work...I was told to wear more suits...blech. Second time I was told to dress the job I want I ignored it again... The third time the comment was said it hit me. I did want to advance my career, be...

September 10-16 FYI A lot of the times I pick my colors from a nature photo. This one came from a this pic of a coral reef.

Generally I like to add the "anti" into "social media" and so I haven't done any of those blog work shop things...but Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka had a great idea she's calling a John C Mayer . If you're too lazy to click the link it's basically about getting a blog post ranked high in searches of a celeb. So I'm going to Vanilla Ice , or should I say  Robbie Van Winkle , the hell out of this post. Why did I choose Vanilla Ice , Ice "Robbie" Van Winkle, Vanilla Ice Winkle or plain old Rob Van Winkle? Not really sure. I was never a fan of Vanilla Ice (or Robbie Van Winkle) at all. When Ice Ice Baby , written by Robbie Van Winkle himself at the tender age of 16, came out I was listening to punk stuff...so I never bought one of Robbie Van Winkle's albums. But I find the guy a bit intriguing...he was on that VH1 show Surreal Life in which he was pissed that people still called him Vanilla Ice instead of Robbie Van Winkle. Real...

I found a booger on my wrist. It is not mine I must insist Not mine as from my nose twas not. My son's the one who owned the snot. There is some spit up on my shirt. I hope that it can pass for dirt. A cough a sneeze went through the air. That's how the goop landed there. Oh god what's that? This smell's absurd. Oh shit my nails are packed with turd. I have some pee there on my pants.  I wasn't doing the wee wee dance. While trying to change the little dude's diaper. That thing came out like a nasty viper. And now it looks like I couldn't hold it. This day looks like I should just fold it. P.S. Don't steal this (there has been a lot of blog theft lately)...it like everything on here is copyrighted.

September 3-9

A while ago I was doing a guest post on another blog and asked the folks on Twitter what kind of post they wanted to see. I got a tweet from @ihubby (see his blog here ) suggested I do a post kind of like a Lost flash forward about how I see Miloh growing up. So for months, a lot of months, I've been trying to write that post. And I can't do it. Every time I think of it his future is either my present, an alternative future that I could have had, Staci's present (but less female) or an alternative future that could have been Staci's (but less female.) The thing is we're really starting to seem some of his personality, so if you extrapolate what we see now you can figure exactly what he'll be like in 20-30 years. You'd get Staci's super caring and gentle nature with her love of people...he strokes our faces and arms when he's tired and needs to sleep and smiles at everyone. From me he got a sense of adventure and problem solving things in h...

Wisdom for Miloh: Don't grow up. I can't really think of a good reason to grow up...nothing good can come of it. You'll of course grow older, go to college get a job and all that...but that doesn't mean you need to grow up. Staying young makes life so much less boring. Ladies and gentlemen...Youth Group. And P.S. I should say Happy Birthday to Jordan. It was this day 10 years ago that we went out to celebrate his birthday. I had a shot or 4 of Jager...that gave me a little courage to introduce myself to Staci for the first time.

"I never want him to grow up." You hear that a lot...I'd go out on a limb and say that it's heard as often as "I neer want her to grow up." It's the mantra of all parents I know...but it's not mine. I mean Miloh is super crazy cute...he's an awesome little dude that I can spend hours with him just hanging. I love every minute with him, making him giggle, having him give me weird super wet kisses on my nose (which wind up ending with my nose being bitten by super sharp teeth), army crawl races which I'm still wining and having him snuggle when he's super tired. But while that's awesome I keep looking forward to the times to come...and I get excited. Actually every day when I wake up I hope he'll do something new...pop a new tooth, sit up on his own (he just did that), walk (I swear he's ready...he's hard to put in down in a sitting position because he wants to stand) say a word, make his first million. I can't w...

well I guess not private but I'm assuming that Hall and Oates songs get billions of search hits every hour so I'm just writing this post for the SEO value.

If you dig the numbers, and I learned last week that some of you do, this is a good week since you get all 3 kinds of graphics I've done so far...there will be more coming. Some may see that as a threat, others may be happy. Anyway for those who are keeping count I'd total up some of the numbers of his first 6 months. He drank 1048 bottles, 1184 diapers and we've taken 1587 photos. Here's the graphic for his second quarter of year one. click to enlarge

Wisdom for Miloh: Run with Kalli You and Kalli (or dog) already have an amazing relationship...you were buddies from day one. She gives you toys...you give her toys. She lets you do anything you want to her (including manhandling her ears) and she cleans you off when needed...and when you're hands are full of food after eating. When you go for walks with her you giggle so much...actually you giggle many times you see her. When she's happy you're happy and you giggle more than any other time...and she in turn gets happy. When you're bigger you'll walk with her...but when you can you need to run with her...she loves it and it makes her so happy. So you in turn will be crazy happy...maybe you'll giggle too much to be able to run.

July 22 - August 21

August 27 - September 2 Ladies and gentlemen...some more numbers for you.

August 20-26

Wisdom for Miloh: if you like a girl remember her eye color You know that girl you like? Check out her eyes...remember the color. There will be a test. You see it is, in whatever color eyes the have, completely unacceptable to forget what color a girl's eyes are. There is however one exception. If however you become a piano playing singer who wears crazy glasses you can forget the color of a girls eyes. In fact if you become that person it will be super sweet to forget the color of their eyes. But while I want to support you in everything you do I don't think you'll be a piano playing singer. There is some musical talent in the family, not from your mom or me, but there is absolutely no good singing voice genes anywhere in your blood...sorry about that. Ladies and gentlemen...Elton John